Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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