She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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