Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
