he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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