I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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