so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
