he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
