i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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