I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
