Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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