Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
