matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
