is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize