new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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