I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
