I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i came on her dog
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
