Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
