What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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