I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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