The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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