I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
