Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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