Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
