idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When are your genitals available?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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