her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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