i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
