For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
