I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
