her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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