Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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