Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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