i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
