Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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