I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
third nipple confirmed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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