We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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