If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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