I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
