i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
