I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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