no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
