she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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