Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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