New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
