It's Friday. Sex?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
