Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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