Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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