my mouth tastes like poor choices
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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