Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
