on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize