She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I party with great urgency now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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