So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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