oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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