dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
did i just pee glitter
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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