i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
