he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Alive.
So much puke
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
