Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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