her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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