Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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