3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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