I heard we made out
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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