Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
