we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My bed is full of blood and feathers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
