I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
