Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
