READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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