I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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