Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize