Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
