i don't like sucking hair
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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