OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
