She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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