You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
