im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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